Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Coming Up Higher

Let me start by saying this:

I have a ridiculously wonderful life.

I really do. I have to confess that I never thought this period of my life would be like this. I thought that I'd finish school in December and wait around, completely bored out of my mind, until August when I'd start service as a Young Adult Volunteer.

I was so wrong! God had a fantastic place for me: as soon as I finished school in December, I was hired by my home church, Memorial Park, a 2,000 member worshiping community in Allison Park, PA. I serve as the Worship & Arts Assistant, and I love my job! I help lead worship, both contemporary and traditional, help direct the ensembles, and get to perform frequently. I assist with the administration of the Sacred Arts department and do publicity work, teach private voice and violin lessons through the church, volunteer with the ESL ministry, and many other things. The resources at MPC are incredible-multiple choirs, brass, ensemble, handbells, flute choir, drama, dance, and more! My job has terrific variety. If you know me you know that I have a hard time doing anything repetitive-I love lots of variety and challenge! And this job suits me very well-I don't feel like I've done anything twice! I truly enjoy it and look forward to coming to work every day-how many people can say that? Furthermore, I feel that it is a job in which I really get to use many of my strengths. I can't imagine a friendlier or warmer environment-I always feel very appreciated and loved. I feel very blessed to be where I am.

So I have a terrific job. Additionally, post-college life has been surprisingly rich in many ways I didn't anticipate, and most of this comes down to relationships with wonderful people that God has put in my life. I have never known such a loving and supportive church family. I've made new friends of all ages and backgrounds. I've been deeply blessed by getting to know visiting missionaries and Korean friends through serving as an English tutor. My evenings are filled with wonderful rehearsals and small groups-all of which are highly enjoyable and enriching. I frequently get to help out with lots of terrific big events that MPC hosts, such as "A Night with the King," a recent open worship service for anointing, prayer, and healing. I've found myself right in the middle of some terrific opportunities that God dropped right into my lap, such as having the chance to volunteer backstage with the Pittsburgh Opera! I frequently get to perform for various weddings, concerts, and recitals, either in singing or playing violin or viola, a lot of the time with musicians who are much better than myself! In April I went to Honduras with a team of friends from Memorial Park where we designed a curriculum for a "Worship Camp" with the Honduran people and then hosted it! So many incredible experiences! I could go on forever with examples... there have been dozens of times since I've been out of school that I have just laughed out loud at where God's placed me and been completely surprised and thrilled!

And yet...I am leaving all this to go to India! You might ask (as some people have), "Why?" 

I had started applying to be a Young Adult Volunteer back in October. I'd heard about YAV about four years ago, maybe longer, at the New Wilmington Mission Conference, and the closer I got to finishing school the more it seemed to keep reappearing! I'd always thought it sounded like a terrific opportunity and kept it in the back of my mind. At the end of October I attended a conference called "Discerning Your Call to Mission" at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, where I had the immense blessing of meeting with former YAVs and those who work with the YAV program. What terrific answers, resources and encouragement I received! After that, I went ahead and finished my application to serve, and the phone conversations and interviews began!

In mid-March I attended the YAV Placement Event at Louisville Seminary in Kentucky. The days before this event were difficult. I loved my work but had only ever seen my job as a temporary position until I left as a YAV-I was feeling 100% sure about being a YAV, excited about my acceptance! Right before I left for Louisville, however, I was faced with a big decision-I was made aware that my job could be more than the initial 6-month commitment I'd thought it would be. I'd only ever thought of it as temporary, but I was given the option to stay! Suddenly I felt very confused. I was leaving for placement the next day!! Was this the right time to serve? I felt panicky-I needed His guidance!

So I found myself on the plane to Louisville the next day, having been 100% clear about things until the day before. Things just felt desperate. I prayed that God would make it VERY clear to me whether He wanted me to go through with this now or not. Ironically, when I arrived in Louisville, I saw one of my good friends from conference on the list of interviewees, and when I called her she told me that she was working at her church and loving it, just as I was, and God had spoken to her and told her that now was not the right time to serve as a YAV. Ahh! I prayed for God to slam doors shut if he wanted them shut, or to fling them open-but just to make it CLEAR!

He is faithful and He did-the placement event was fantastic and meaningful. I felt deeply surrounded by others like myself and felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. I felt the doors opening. After interviewing with the India and South Korea sites, three days later I found myself back on the plane chatting happily to strangers about my upcoming trip to India! Crazy!

It was a very difficult decision. But it wasn't my decision-He made it clear. And now I am doing the illogical-leaving somewhere where I am very loved and very comfortable and going 9000 miles away. No, it doesn't really make all that much sense if you look at it logically sometimes. But He's made it clear and I am going! I've heard His voice, calling me, calling out to me repeatedly.

I hear the voice, the voice of the one I love, 
He's calling my name.
I hear the voice, the voice of the one I love,
He's calling my name.
He's saying "Come up higher, and hear the angel sing.
Come up higher, my beloved.
Come up higher, and leave this world behind,
I find you to be beautiful."
-from "Running After You"





A Beginning

"For we are God's masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10


Prepared in advance.


When I think about how God knew, in the very beginning, what all He had in store for my life, I'm just floored. 


And I begin to see the fuzzy outline of the grand mosaic of His story, of history, in which I am a small, gleaming stone, a miniscule but lovingly integrated fragment.


And I catch my breath and think, "Wow, God...this isn't really a beginning, then, is it?"


The fact is, that every moment of my life has led up to this moment. Our lives are not a string of unrelated events, like beads on a necklace, but a masterpiece, Christ's workmanship, He says. It's a brilliant, epic painting, on a grander scale than anything you or I could wrap our brains around. Like a thousand Sistine Chapels upon Sistine Chapels, and then some.


The truth is, this trip to India is a continuation, not the beginning of God's work in me. Something seems to be clearing up and I'm seeing, through the haze, a little bit more of His masterpiece being unveiled to me. There was so much leading up to this, and so much yet to come. I quiver with the excitement of it. 


I remember when I was in third grade and got glasses. If you have glasses, do you remember getting them? Do you remember how the second you put them on, you suddenly realized that you had had no idea what all you were missing? What you had thought was clear wasn't clear. It was never clear. And all of a sudden the world shown in a new light. Do you remember that feeling, the feeling of a newly discovered sight? 


That's how I'm feeling now. My individual experiences, joys, sorrows, and songs have led to this moment, this embarkment. That means that God has prepared me, has enabled me, has ordained me by the power of His holy spirit, and I'm not going it alone. 


For you and I are His masterpiece, created in Him to do good works which He prepared in advance for us to do. 


I'm so ready for the next leg of the journey, the adventure of following Him, of running after Him, the most thrilling thing I've yet to come to know.