Running After You: East-Meets-West Music

Dear friends-

Boy, do I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. I am doing well. The past two weeks have been exciting and challenging. I feel like they have served as a kind of turning point. I am beginning to really discover the reasons for which I am here. I am beginning to have some real "aha" moments and many confirmations for why I was led here. The main focus of the past two weeks has been on the Choir Director's Training Program.

About a month ago, the college chaplain and choir director approached me about possibly beginning a program for training choir directors. The reason for this was that some area choir directors had heard about the Faculty Voice Training Program I lead and wondered if they could join; but it was thought that a separate course might serve them better. Initially when I met with Roy Sir and Vimal Sir about possibly starting this, I said, "Ok... maybe like a two-day or two-weekend course? For two or three sessions. Yeah, I think I can do that.

"We were thinking more along the lines of...about 40 sessions," they said. !!!! Yikes!

And so I've agreed to it and excitedly begun the program. This is an official certificate through CMS College, a certificate in Choir Directing, with me as the instructor. Do I feel unqualified? You bet. They definitely had to talk me into it.

I was so nervous for our first session-held on Monday, November 7th. I had heard that about 12 or 13 directors from the area and CMS college students would be there. Some of the directors present were from 45 or 50 km away-a two-hour trip! I couldn't help thinking that I'm really not worth the hassle of coming from that far away and worried about not meeting their expectations.

The program was officially inaugurated by Korah Sir, the Principal. Vimal and Roy Sir gave some incredibly kind speeches, claiming even that "this program had the potential to change choirs all over Kerala!" Gulp.

The pressure was building, and then as we were about to start, a shipment of specially-made binders and notebooks with "CMS COLLEGE DIRECTORS TRAINING PROGRAMME" arrived! What a surprise! After all of this to-do, I felt like I was going to burst under the pressure, but I took a deep breath, stood up, said, "Um...hi!"

I gave a detailed outline of what I expect to cover in the course, including music fundamentals, breathing & warm-ups, choral conducting basics, ear training, sight reading, and more. And we began. The first session went well, and there were good questions afterwards. In fact, there was even a heated discussion in Malayalam about breathing technique! As it was later explained to me, one of the directors had been taught by a published Royal College of Music alum to always suck in your stomach when you breathe, which was the complete opposite of the diaphragmatic breathing I had just taught. He had been implementing and teaching this kind of breathing for many years. However in the discussion, diaphragmatic breathing won out! And he said, "And now, from 6:30 today, I will be teaching breathing the opposite of how I've always taught it." Whoa! I couldn't believe he was persuaded to change something so fundamental just from our brief session.

Since then we have had two more sessions. We have grown in size each week and have had to close registration, as there are now about 24 members in the program. We meet on Saturdays from 9:30-12:30 where I teach the WHOLE TIME. It is exhilarating, exhausting, and uses up a lot of adrenaline. Most of the class is comprised of men 60 years and older. There are also two women and about 5 boys in their early twenties from the college and area. I have to do a pretty significant amount of planning to be able to teach for three hours in an organized manner. I type up a detailed syllabus for each class, pass out multiple worksheets and packets, and assign a lot of homework. I feel in a position of power and I also feel totally unqualified. In the States, I would not be qualified to teach a program like this; but here, I am. Sometimes when I look out at all the faces of the directors, who have been directing choirs longer than I've been ALIVE, I feel like running away! But I have to remember that none of them have had any formal music training. Half of them cannot read music, and none have any conducting training. I was able to gauge their experience and musical knowledge to an extent by having them complete a survey upon after the first class. Most answered that they were very interested to learn the things upon which I was planning to base the course.

The classes run thus: it takes about 20-30 min. for everyone to arrive. We begin with about 45 minutes of warm-ups and breathing exercises, and then we work on reading Kodaly rhythm symbols and doing rhythm dictations. After a tea break, we work on sight-reading and solfege. This past week we learned the Kodaly hand signals (a fascinating concept for those of you who don't know-they are different hand signals for the different pitches of the scale-brilliant!) We spend the rest of the class learning music fundamentals (note values, reading music, basic theory), and finish with our Listening portion of the class. During this time, I play a few excellent choral recordings (from choirs like King's College, Polyphony, Chanticleer) and we try very hard to identify what makes "that good choir sound." They have a listening guide, and each day we tune into a specific aspect of good choral sound. We define and discuss aspects such as

breathing
articulation
cut-offs & onsets
phrasing, line
musicality
dynamics & expression
blend and balance
diction
vowel formation and unity

and lots more! This is a great challenge for the class. Most can say, "Yes, that's a good sound," but have no idea why it's a good sound. The goal is to tune our ears to listen for very specific things: specific pronunciations, specific breath patterns, to increase our listening sensitivity and begin to identify and implement how to improve a choir's sound.

I'm finding this course to be fascinating. I especially love exposing them to great choral works and trying to help them tune their ears to what they're hearing. It is a challenging class in ways for them, I think. I give a lot of homework, and sometimes receive phone calls during the week about assignments. I encourage a lot of feedback. I'm modeling this class after the courses about choral directing that I had in college; trying to wrack my brain for what we did in Choral Conducting and Choral Methods. I've tried very hard to make the course systematic and organized. I feel about one step ahead of the game. It's exhilarating and a little scary.

It's difficult to teach a class with such varied levels of musical experience, where some know a bit and others don't read any music or have any training. I find myself wondering if I am in fact teaching them things they don't know, and then I remind myself that they did choose to join my class. The goal is for the class to be very practical, as in, I teach them a few warm-ups and tricks that they then go use with their choir and report back on how it went.

Apparently so far the program is receiving excellent feedback, which is great news. One woman in the class approached me about a problem she has with her singing breath which I couldn't really answer well. She came back the next week, excited to report to me that she found this problem corrected after practicing the breathing exercises we'd done in class and could now do things with her voice that she couldn't do before! I was thrilled! I felt like I had nothing to do with it-at moments like this, where I hardly feel like I know what I'm doing, I realize how God is so mightily intervening!

I never thought I would be doing something like this. I never thought that I would be in charge of a college certificate program at my age and level of experience...I am deeply humbled. I begin each class with prayer-I hope and pray that the class would be glorifying to God and that it might equip choir leaders of Kerala to improve the quality of their worship.

Choir Directors Training Program official notebook and binder!

The Faculty Voice Program continues to go well-they are a joy to teach. We had our first quiz the other day! An extraordinary blessing: About a week back, one of the faculty in the class approached me after our session. She said, "You're teaching us to read music... I never thought I would read music. I have always wanted to learn, but I thought I had missed my chance. And now at my age, retiring soon, you are teaching me to read music." She was emotional about finally achieving one of her lifelong dreams, and said, "God brought you here for many reasons, but one of them was to teach me music." Thank you, Lord! What an amazing confirmation of Your purposes for me here!

I continue to spend a lot of time working with various choirs (though we are not currently having hostel or college choir; those start next month.) And I've come to realize that I really enjoy it. I really love to fix little things, to correct pronunciation, to improve tone and expression. I find myself rehearsing even just one piece of music for an hour or more...I find a deep joy and sense of fulfillment in this work. And though I sometimes make a complete fool out of myself or forget to tell the choir to sit down or make them do weird things with their arms, they stick with me. I'm getting comfortable enough to crack jokes with them, I'm myself with them. Their voices linger in my mind long after rehearsal.

Recently, I worked with the men of Kottayam Mixed Voices on a piece. As they were singing, something within me welled up at their voices. I later wrote, Theirs were voices that had known pain, yet rose together in a beautiful song which I was molding and shaping. They trusted me and listened to me, they did what I told them to do. I am given the privilege of tuning their voices. It is deeply intimate. It takes courage and vulnerability. What is, after all, more personal than a song? Songs linger and stick with us for our entire lives. These men have been a part of this choir longer than I've been alive. It means something profound to them. There is something precious and fragile in the air here. It is the sound of voices, uninhibited, knowing the joys and sorrows of life, yet lifted as one. It is universal and ancient, echoing through the cathedrals and halls of time...in many tongues yet still one monumental, all-encompassing song...the song of worship....the life-song. I hear glimpses of it, I step into its light, and it colors my days in shades of purpose."

May I never take for granted this profound privilege.

Other recent experiences and stories:

I was recently invited to join the Principal and his wife at the Principal's Quarters for lunch. The building is over 100 years old!

I continue to work with two small women's groups: one group for Kottayam Mixed Voices is singing a 5-part a cappella arrangment of Vivaldi's Spring which is hilarious! Jemima and I also form half a women's quartet from church that will sing a couple of Christmas pieces. Please enjoy this video of our Vivaldi rendition with Liya, Mereen, and Jibi:

Two weekends ago, Nicole preached at a church in Vadavanthoor, about 15 minutes away. The choir director there is in the Choir Directors Program and Faculty Voice, and so he invited me to work with his choir for about an hour after the service.

This past Sunday was confirmation Sunday at CSI Ascension Church, the church I regularly attend, and about 90 new members were confirmed! Jemima was one of the confirmees, and I had the pleasure of being at her house afterwards for her confirmation luncheon. It was such a joy to spend time with her family, to see pictures of her growing up, and to meet her friends. Jemima is a huge blessing in my life here in India. Her sweet spirit and incredible voice continue to amaze me and bring me deep joy.

Jemima on the day of her confirmation

L to R: Jemima's father, mother, Jemima, and brother Jovan

Jemima's friends

showing them a picture of Joce

I've had some terrific English classes recently with the PG Lit. group. We have been discussing "lifestyles" of American and Indian life, such as view of time, schedule, and family structure. We recently had a hilarious class all about Indian and American mannerisms which involved a lot of acting! Yesterday, I shared with them all about Thanksgiving-its history and traditions, (which involved me attempting to explain for them the rules of football, ironically. I told them that football is not, in fact, an obscure sport, but that literally every American except me could explain the rules to them. haha)

Special Treatment

About two weeks ago, I had an adventure-filled day with my dear friend, Shalu. We went into town to get my camera card, which had a virus, fixed. Once we dropped off the card, we had an hour to kill before it was ready. We spent some time visiting stores and walking around Kottayam, and we approached Josco's, a very fancy jewellry store. Shalu and I were both really thirsty. Sometimes at nice stores here, like department stores, they give you drinks! So I suggested to Shalu that we go into Josco's to see if we could get a drink! She was hesitant since it is such a nice store. I said that if it became apparent that we ought not to just be browsing around, we would leave. We went into the store, and to our surprise, were treated royally! The clerks asked all about the U.S., my family, what I thought of Kerala, and took us into the different showrooms, including the diamond showroom! Any piece of jewelry I even pointed out to Shalu they insisted I try on! Before we knew it, I was trying on various pieces of ridiculously expensive jewelry with all the workers fussing around me trying to find the best piece for me to try on and taking pictures of me on my camera!!! I don't think I will every wear anything as expensive as those jewels in my entire life. Shalu could not stop giggling. It was hilarious. The best part is that once we left the store, an hour later, we busted out laughing, saying, "We never got a drink! All we wanted was a drink!" It was a priceless memory.

When we went to go get my camera card, they did not charge me anything. We also bought a bookbag for which we recieved a discount. It was a day filled with lots of special treatment. As much as I enjoy these surprises of special treatment, it is strange to think that it comes down to the color of my skin. Shalu said that all this had happened only because I was with her; she would not have been allowed to browse in Josco's. For the first time in my life, I am being treated differently than others constantly, because of my skin color. I'm not sure how I feel about this-it is very overwhelming at times.

This past week at church I met a girl from Germany; her name is Serena. I spotted blonde hair, the first blonde hair I've seen since August, and made a beeline straight towards her! She is 17 year-old here for a cultural exchange program. It was such a joy to meet her. She seemed rather shy and overwhelmed; I felt sorry for her because at least I can communicate in English here, but she is not very confident in English. I felt that the Lord really ordained our meeting and we were both encouraged. Seeing Serena reminded me that I am not alone in trying to fit in to this new culture. It's been so easy, being surrounded only by Indians, to forget to think about and pray for all the missionaries in the world adapting to new lands.I can't believe how easy it's been for me to forget all about the 80-some other YAVs also struggling to adjust. We're all looking strange in native dress, fumbling around with language, feeling out of place together. We are all connected in our mission, connected in our struggles, and connected in prayer. I hope that Serena and I get the chance to meet again when she returns to India after the holidays.

Serena, from Germany

At the hostel, I am continuing to delve into deeper relationship with the girls. I am really amazed at the barriers God is breaking down between us and the intimacy that we've reached with one another. We've crossed some kind of physical barrier, in that we now hug and hold hands and play with one another's hair. They try on new clothes for me and fuss over my dress. We continue to play games in the evening and sing worship songs.

Recently, one of the girls I'm close with came into my room to give me candy for her birthday. As she did, she started to cry. Though she could not communicate to me what was wrong, we sat together on my bed and I held her. She said simply, "Chechi, pray for me." So I did. This was a profoundly beautiful, vulnerable moment. I sat wiping her tears and holding her hand. Though she speaks Malayalam and is Muslim and I speak English and am a follower of Jesus, we sat and cried and prayed together. I am deeply grateful to God for making my room a place where the girls can come and be open, and amazed at the bonds which I feel with these girls, my sisters.

The other night was a night filled with this kind of intimacy. First, Sumita, with her beaming smile, came to me and asked me to help lead in prayer that evening. She had taken the time to painstakingly write out a favorite Malayalam hymn in English letters so that I could sing along. She took me into prayer and helped me lead as I fumbled through prayer both in English and some attempted Malayalam. For the very first time, I was able to join with the girls in song in Malayalam. All the girls left, leaving Sumita and I sitting on the floor before the cross. I was choked up at her kindness. She held my hand and gave me a bookmark with a Bible verse and handwritten note to me on it. I will treasure this forever. In that moment, sitting silently with Sumita, a deep peace settled on me, the peace of the presence of God.

Later that night, I discovered that I had accidentally tie-dyed many of my clothes in the laundry dark purple as the dye from one pair of pants spread over everything. Sigh. Sumita and another 2nd year, Reshma, helped me frantically rinse and try to scrub out all my clothes, but to no avail. As much as I'm not thrilled about some of my clothes being ruined, I look back at all three of us frantically rinsing and scrubbing and splashing as a special moment. They help me all the time with whatever I need. They chase cockroaches out of my room when I'm too chicken to do it. They are strong, pure, stunningly beautiful and helpful girls. They amaze me. We live together; we are becoming sisters.

Please pray for...

1) ...the Choir Directors Program and for God to equip me with all that I need to lead it to His glory.

2) ...my YAV teammates.

3)...continued relief from anxiety.

4)...the students I interact with at the college, Jemima, and my supervisors, Gigi and Ann.

5)...vocal health. Still struggling with vocal strain as I use my voice a lot-and now especially as we head into the Christmas season with many rehearsals/solos. Please pray for my voice to be protected!

6) ...the precious girls at the hostel, that they may come to know Jesus more deeply or for the first time as we enter into the time of contemplating His birth. Pray specifically for Sumita, Midhila, Shalu & Divya, my tutors; and the dynamic duo Sherina and Lydia. I dearly love these girls, and my heart breaks over learning about some of their issues. Please pray for them and our relationship.

Miss you all and love you,

Claudia

"When I am with you, I feel God. When you sing, God comes out." -Midhila to me last night as we played guitar and talked