Sunday, December 18, 2011

Christmas Comes to India

"The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." John 1:14
Dear friends-

Happy advent to you! Christmas has certainly come to India, and there has been a flurry of Christmas activity. Performances galore, lots of Christmas carols, Christmas cards...these past two weeks have really been a joy-filled time.

For me the Christmas season opened with the Mixed Voices recital on Sunday, December 4th. The Kottayam Mixed Voices are one of the choirs I belong to and this was their annual recital, held at Mammen Milapilai Hall in the center of Kottayam. It was a large performance with over a thousand present and literally everyone I know in Kottayam was there! I had the honor of getting to sing a solo, "O Holy Night" at the concert. (See the video below.) Yesterday, the 18th, we travelled to Ernakulum, (near Cochin, two hours away), to perform our recital a second time.

 

It was a beautiful concert. I really felt like I belonged as a part of the choir, singing on stage with them, wearing the same uniform as everyone else. This was a familiar thing-singing on stage with a choir-one of the first things I've done in India that felt familiar! Especially sitting backstage with the choir between pieces, I felt like I could close my eyes at be right back at a performance at Westminster.

Something awesome about the concert was how Christ-centered it was! In between the pieces, two emcees relayed information about the piece and tied it in with an anecdote about Christmas or a specific Scripture. For example, we sang a piece about the shepherds hurrying to Bethlehem, and the emcee spoke about us continuing to run to Jesus at all times and to strive to follow Him just as the shepherds did. Please enjoy these pictures of the concert:



Jemima and Sweetha's duet
KVM with the Bishop




After the performance with our keyboardist Joe, Gigi Sir's son
Asha, Gigi Sir's daughter
With my supervisor Gigi Sir after the performance
Last Sunday, the 11th, held performances with both the CSI Ascension Church choir and Mixed Voices. Mixed Voices sang three songs at the Kottayam YMCA Carol Night. This was the first time I wore a sari! A sari is the traditional dress of Indian women, and it is very complicated to put on! A sari is a piece of fabric about 6 metres in length wrapped around the body in many different steps. I find it fascinating that most Indian women every day wear something that is so time-consuming and complicated to put on.

First time I wore a sari! With Gigi Sir and Joe before a KVM performance
6 meters of fabric!


Right after the performance with Mixed Voices, those of us who are also in CSI Ascension Church Choir made a quick costume change and sang three songs with this choir at another carol night nearby at Jerusalem Marthoma Church. We sang Silent Night as the final piece of the night while holding lit candles, just like we do back home, and I played a violin accompaniment. It was a beautiful, song-filled evening!

Men's group from CSI Ascension Church

With Diya, a friend from church and Mixed Voices
 

CSI Ascension Church Choir
Silent Night by candlelight...

"In the Bleak Midwinter" quartet with Diya, Prathibha, and Jemima

"Go, Tell It on the Mountain" quartet
I've also been working on two pieces with a quartet for the Ascension Church Christmas Eve service. It's been such a joy to work with Diya, Pradhipha, and Jemima on arrangements of "In the Bleak Midwinter" and "Go, Tell It on the Mountain."

Two Thursdays ago, I was invited to Baker Memorial School's Christmas performance to sing a solo and to attend. I thought that this would be a small program, but it was a 2.5 hour affair with over 1300 children present!!! The excitement in the air was palpable as the choir finished and the Christmas tableau began. I've never seen a tableau before: it's like a play, except the actors form a scene on stage and then freeze, while someone offstage narrates the story. The tableau included many girls with beards painted on their faces as the wise men, (Baker Memorial is just a girls' school), the star from the east that actually moved across the auditorium when pulled by a string, and angels with Styrofoam wings dancing to techno music. Yes, techno music. It was awesome.

After the tableau, fireworks literally exploded in the back of the auditorium! (See last post about being prepared for anything at any times in India.) This was to herald the arrival of Santa! Santa came in and did a kind of Santa dance on stage. The kids were literally so excited for the rest of the day that the teachers decided not to hold classes for the afternoon. I helped pass out Christmas cake to the kids, and then because I didn't really know what was going on, decided to go around to the classes and sing Christmas carols with them. :)

Though most of the students at Baker schools are Hindu or Muslim, most celebrate Christmas in some way and participate in the Christmas performance. All are present for the reading of Scripture and get to hear the Christmas story! It is such a joy here to be able to speak openly about the Bible in the classroom-something we can't do back home. Religion is not a private thing in India like it is in the U.S.-here religion is open and everywhere! It is a part of everything and a frequent topic of conversation. People of all faiths are open to talking about God and about their own faith. At the schools here, the staff meets for prayer every morning and most begin each class with a prayer. Every single choir rehearsal ends with prayer. The students also begin and end each day with a school prayer, a hymn, and the singing of the national anthem. At CMS, too, each morning at 10 am, the principal, Korah Sir, says a prayer over the loudspeaker and the hymn, "Have Thine Own Way, Lord" is played. This is something I love about this culture: how openly God is spoken of, and how Hindus, Muslims, and Christians alike pray together every day in schools and talk about their faith.
Baker School's Christmas choir

The star that moved on a string to lead the wisie

The angels in Baker School's Christmas tableau 
Santa invites me up to give me a present!
Santa arrives with fireworks and greets Baker Memorial School

Christmas has also come to Lea Hostel. We have something called "Christmas Friend," where each girl gets the name of another girl on a slip of paper and writes notes to signed only "Your Christmas Friend." There will also be a Christmas Friend gift exchange, and only then will everyone's Christmas Friend be revealed! I am enjoying keeping up a correspondence with the person who has me as their Christmas Friend and my own Christmas friend. There is a box kept in the lobby where these notes are dropped off and received. This correspondence is frequent-if I put a note in the Christmas friend box in the morning I can be sure to have a response by the afternoon!  I also have another anonymous correspondent who goes by the name of "Daffodil," with whom I write notes. haha :) I can't wait to find out who these girls are!

I arrived back to my room a week ago to discover that a huge blue Christmas star was hung on my porch! Illuminated Christmas stars are a very popular item here. Thanks to kind friends from home, I also have a little Christmas tree on my door and a miniature Nativity scene!

Right now I am not having many of the regular classes I teach, but TONS of choir rehearsals! I have had at least three choir rehearsals a day recently-sometimes four or even five. Every day we have college choir twice a day, which I will soon be leading. (Much to my surprise, Vimal Sir, the college choir director, wants me to actually direct the choir for their performance; I thought he just wanted me to help out with rehearsals! I am very excited about this!) I rehearse with a quartet of girls from church. In the evening, I lead Hostel Choir; our hostel Christmas Day is this coming Wednesday. I also taught the choir at Baker Vidyapith "The Twelve Days of Christmas" along with motions, and their school performance is this coming Wednesday as well. So these along with Mixed Voices and church choir performances and rehearsals are certainly keeping me busy! From now until Christmas I can count at least six other upcoming performances which I get to direct or perform in. This week will be a very busy week with Baker School Christmas program, college carol service, Lea Hostel carol service, and the church carol service on Christmas Eve. I am sooo blessed to have all of these wonderful opportunities.

This is most certainly an exciting and busy time, a time of great joy! What a wonderful time Christmas is! Hearts are tender, Christ is spoken about so frequently, and His name sung so loudly! May I be open and receptive to all the times I get the chance to share about my Lord and Savior's birth!

Prayer requests:
1) For continued opportunities to share Christ's love at Christmastime, and to have the right attitude when they appear.
2) For my sister, who just arrived in Malawi for a 7-month clinical trial of her device. (For those of you that don't know Joce, she is a bioengineer with a global health technologies nonprofit, and she invented a CPAP (breathing device) for infants that is specifically designed for use in developing nations, called the Baby Bubbler. This device is absolutely brilliant and has already saved lives; she's tested it and worked on it Malawi for three weeks this past year. Now, she has arrived in Malawi for a 7-month clinical trial of her device. Please check out her blog at http://bubblecpapinblantyre.tumblr.com/). Pray that her as she adapts to this new culture and begins to get settled. It's awesome that we will soon be able to swap our cultural adjustment/living abroad stories!
3) For my voice, as it's giving me difficulties, doesn't feel normal, and I need it for a lot of upcoming things.
4) Also related to family, my mother and sister will be here on the 29th of December!!!!! I am SOOO excited to see them! Please pray for their travel and preparations. Pray especially for my sister's travel here-her flight into Malawi was delayed two weeks because of the Malawian fuel crisis and we don't know how easy it will be for her to fly out of the country.


Random tidbits:
1) I finally get to wish everyone "Happy Christmas!" I can't say that enough.:)
2) When one is served water here, it is most often hot and frequently has herbs mixed in it to make it taste better. It's usually a greenish or a light reddish color. Though I have been drinking this since I arrived in India, I know secretly think of it as "Christmas water." I know that's really silly, but it makes me happy. :)

I'm going to close with thoughts from a missionary in Central American on being away from home at Christmas time, from my daily devotional. "Every year I ask the Lord to reveal something new to me about the Christmas story. When we left for Central America, we sold most everything that belonged to us, including the majority of our Christmas decorations, some of which we'd had most of my life. When our first Christmas on the field came, it was more difficult to be in the 'Christmas spirit' because the familiar decorations weren't displayed, the weather wasn't cold, and we definitely don't get snow. Additionally, we had no special friends or family to share the joy of the season. As I sought the Lord, I was shown the actual heart of Christmas, which is turn changed my own heart. It occurred to me that while all these things symbolize Christmas, all of these things are not Christmas. When all the stuff-- the lights, gifts, trees, food, and even friends--was taken away, it came down to Jesus. He is the only reason to be celebrating. I learned that everything I need for Christmas, and for my life, is found in Jesus. Apart from Him, 'I have no good thing.' (Psalm 16:2)" 


Love you all and miss you a lot,
Claudia

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Childlike Wonder

Today I beheld something truly beautiful: the faces of young children hearing the Christmas story for the first time.

At Baker School I taught a lesson on the Christmas story- I read the entire story to them from Luke and then handed them bits of the story on pieces of paper, out of order. They had to work together to put the entire story back together in order, which meant that they had to listen carefully to the story and comprehend it.

I can't express in words what a beautiful thing it was to see the faces and expressions of these children. Most of them already knew the story, but there were about five students in each class that listened to me with rapt attention, and later confirmed by a show of hands that it was their first hearing. They actually had no idea what was going to happen to Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus. Their faces alternated between wonder at the angels, concern for the characters, confusion as to why a King was born in a stable, comprehension, awe...How often we hear this story and other stories of the Bible, but don't actually hear it in the way that we first heard it? How often do we forget to be filled with wonder?

I made a point of asking the students hearing it for the first time what they liked about the story. A couple of their responses: "I liked the way the angels talked to the people and protected the baby Jesus the whole way." Another said, "I like the way they were looking for a King but the King was just a baby." What beautiful, profound thoughts they had! I pray that they would continue to think about this story and that God would reveal Himself to them through it!

When was the last time you really thought about the Christmas story? Really thought about God coming in the form of a helpless baby, the Word Himself unable to speak words, the creator of the universe totally reliant on his two frightened young parents? It really is unbelievable and breathlessly beautiful.

Today, when I saw the wonder in these students' faces, I felt as though I too became a little child again. The Christmas story is so much more meaningful to me here than it ever was back home. I feel in awe of it, and feel like I never really thought about it before.

I also recently watched the movie "The Nativity Story" with some friends at the hostel. If you haven't seen this movie, you really should see it. It really brings the Christmas story to life in a beautiful, humble way.

Today when I left Baker School, thoughts filled my mind: why has it taken me so long to feel this awe about the Christmas story? Is it perhaps because I was always way more concerned with Christmas presents and trees and cookies and all of the other stuff? Maybe.
Whenever I start to think, "I deserve...," may I remember that the God of the Universe came to earth to two terrified young adults giving birth next to cows and sheep, being wrapped in rags, and laying in a dirty trough.
It is so amazing that God came in this way.

Father, give us childlike wonder at the story of Your birth, as though we are hearing it for the first time.  
Christmas star outside my porch


My Christmas tree on my door! Thank you, Tom & Carol! 

Friday, December 9, 2011

Assuming & Adapting

We were sitting backstage during the message at the Mixed Voices concert. Jibi took my music, flipped it over, and wrote, "You are one of the most accomodating women I have ever met. Love, Jibi." and handed it back to me.

I feel very undeserving of this praise. This past week, God has been teaching me all about flexibility. And my lack thereof.

Before I came to India, I thought that I was a pretty flexible person, pretty adapting in most situations. I knew that I would encounter situations living abroad where I would need to be flexible. What I did not know was how frequently I would need to be flexible-all the time! Since coming to India, I have felt very deficient in the adapting department.

Living in India inherently means encountering surprises on a daily basis. Each day when I wake up, I know that I will encounter something, or many things, that day that I do not expect. I try to prepare my heart for this and to put my attitude in the right place before I leave my room.

Every Thursday at Baker Memorial School, I see a plaque in the faculty room with a picture of a little boy and girl smelling a flower, and the words, "Order is heaven's first law." I sit and ponder this plaque in the midst of hundreds of children running around and lots of noise. I love order.

To me, so much of life in India is entirely unpredictable. I am very much a highly scheduled and organized person and always have been. I am very much about speed, efficiency, and clarity. My Type A personality continually clashes with my surroundings. One cannot be a perfectionist in India-this I am learning most acutely.
It takes a while to get used to the reality that just because something is scheduled, doesn't mean it's going to happen. If I have a meeting with a certain person at a certain place at a certain time, I can be sure that at least one of those things will be different than I expect. Here in Kerala, there are many strike days that occur without warning. I frequently make plans or develop lessons for classes that will not happen because of a strike day. Sometimes there are two or three in a row, but sometimes one doesn't know until the day of. Also occuring frequently are holidays, which are sometimes known in advance. This past week, Monday was a holiday. However, no one knew if Tuesday would be a holiday or not. I was told that it was a holiday, then I was told that it wasn't. Even at 11 pm at night, still no one knew whether the next day would be a working day or not. Can you imagine that happening in our culture? Everyone had to wait for the newspapers to come out on Tuesday to know whether it was a holiday or not! I called one of the staff at Baker Vidyapith to inquire as to whether I would be teaching there the next day or not. (On Tuesdays, I teach at Baker from 10:30 am to the end of the day.) He said that he would let me know as soon as he found out. He called me at 10:30 am the next morning, when I was already supposed to be at the school, to tell me that it was, in fact, a working day.

On Monday, I discovered that the Faculty Voice Program had been cancelled for the whole month of December. Though I teach this class and had already planned for the next few sessions, I was not informed. Last week at a different session I was supposed to teach, I waited for an hour for the faculty to show up, because sometimes things start an hour late here, only to be informed after one hour that the class was cancelled. However, one woman was travelling from 50 km away to come, and she had just arrived as I learned the class was cancelled. I find here that things are cancelled a lot for reasons which I don't understand or for no apparent reason whatsoever. Just as often as things are unexpectedly cancelled, I am given a surprise obligation or responsibility.

I did not teach any classes last week, though I had planned for many. In the past few days, two different groups, one a sextet, and one a quartet, that I have been working with for the past few months were both cancelled for reasons that I do not understand. Though both groups had spent much time learning the pieces and were ready to perform, neither group will perform. I do not know why.

Power outages have been happening more and more frequently. I have taken to copying and pasting my emails and blogs into word documents a lot as I'm typing them so I stop losing them all the time. All of the different Skype sessions I had scheduled in the past two weeks except for one failed due to internet connectivity issues or loss of power. One night I burned the last of my candles in my room, fighting darkness until I had no option. As the power inverter in my room is no longer working, the electrician was called over two weeks ago to come and fix it. Two weeks ago, I was told he would come tomorrow, and then the day after that, and so on. I am fighting being the in dark, literally and figuratively.

I am continually discovering assumptions that I hold that I am unaware of. (For example, the assumption that on a long train ride, I will have a seat.) What expectations we all hold at all times without awareness!

Another example was the assumption I had that since the college reopened on December 1st, the students would be back for it. But though the college officially reopened from its month-long break on the 1st and new classes began, the students did not return until just yesterday, the 6th. So I assumed that college choir and hostel choir would start about a week earlier than they did. This means that we only have 8 rehearsals with the hostel choir before our performance, which I'm in charge of. Each day, different girls attend the rehearsal. I do not know why they do not all come every day. Sometimes if I run into a girl that's in choir and ask if she's coming to practice later, she responds, "Yes" with a smile and then doesn't show up ten minutes later. I discovered that the girls have forgotten a LOT of what all we worked on back in October, so we're basically starting over. I am concerned about our concert, sad that different girls attend each day which inhibits progress, and sad that we are starting over. Lots of deep breaths, and flexibility.

I do not mean to be spelling these things out in a negative light. I am merely trying to come to terms with my ideas of predictability, efficiency, and organization: why are they so important in my mind after all? Additionally, know that I recognize that my minor problems and surprises are absolutely nothing in the scheme of things and nothing compared to the inconveniences that those around me deal with on a daily basis. I also know that they are nothing compared to the continual flow of blessings and kindness I experience here. This is to serve as a glimpse into cultural differences and what I struggle with day to day. When these surprises just seem to happen one after the other, it can be quite overwhelming. This is something that I have been thinking a lot about and something that is an important lesson for me which I wish to share with you.

So what does all this mean? 

It means that I have to continually fight the negativity that ensues when I encounter the unexpected. It means that I am constantly in battle with myself and my thoughts, striving to perceive things differently. It means that I am given many, many opportunities to continually respond with an attitude of grace, or an attitude of bitterness. Sometimes I fail. I try very hard to be prepared for anything at anytime, but continually run into my own limitations. I frequently feel as though I am a little tiny ship being tossed back and forth in the stormy, chaotic sea that is India.

So what do I do?

Here are my choices: when something unexpected happens, as it will, every day, I can:
1) Choose to be confused, bitter or resentful, and to hold on to whatever was unexpected, or I can
2) Choose to let it go. Choose to respond with an attitude of grace. Choose to let it roll off my back. Swallow, smile, and say, "That's okay. Not a problem." or Take a deep breath, smile, and say, "Yeah, sure I can do that."

I try as hard as I can to let things go and to fight the seeds of bitterness and resentment that form in my own heart. Where do they stem from anyway? Assumptions. Assumptions and expectations that I hold that say that I have to be informed of something so far in advance. The assumption that if my class is cancelled, I, as the teacher, will be informed. But such is not the case. My expectations must be completely remolded. Better yet, I need to just not have any in the first place.

Mostly, I just pour my heart out to God. Sometimes I need a few seconds of desperate prayer before I regain my ground and respond appropriately to the moment's surprise. It comforts me incredibly that though things so frequently feel so unorganized and chaotic to me, that it all makes sense to the Creator. And that He is in control!  What an incredible source of relief! In control of my life, my classes, my duties, my schedule, my failures and shortcomings-over all of this, God reigns!

And so I must be cautious, I must measure my reactions accordingly. I must breathe deeply and relax. I must just let it all go, knowing that all of this is out of my control and that that's okay because He's a much better Organizer than I am anyways. He is the master planner. If I put myself in a place that says that I deserve to know what's going on and I deserve to be informed or I deserve this or that then I am telling myself lies and I am putting myself on His throne. Who am I to think that I must have things as I expect them?

What a lesson this is! What chances I am being given everyday-to choose to reflect the love and grace of Christ in a Christlike manner, or to be resentful! Why would I hold on to the things which make me bitter when I can just let it into God's hands, which is where it is already?

I am so thankful for God's Word and for its restorative power. So thankful that the second my pride gets in the way and I start to feel the roots of bitterness forming, that His word, a double-edged sword, convicts me and comforts me at once. And so I make a conscious choice-a choice to just let this all into His hands. I must! I must, or I will fail here.

God's Word over and over again commands us to not be angry or to be bitter. And so I have to so heavily rely on the Scriptures when I feel overwhelmed by confusion or disorganization. "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold," says Ephesians 4:26-27. God's word goes on to say, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger...Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (verses 31-32).
I have been continually rereading Hebrews 12 as it has been speaking to me on so many different levels on this issue. May God's word dwell within me and grant me great grace and flexibility! "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles , and let us RUN with perseverance the race marked out before us." (The verb "throwing off" implies that it takes a conscious effort and requires strength, that the weight of sin is heavy! It does not say, "brush off the sin" but "throw off!" When I encounter the unexpected, may I heartily throw it off of myself instead of letting its weight inhibit me!) It goes on to say, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." What awesome verses! How easy it's been for me to grow weary of surprises, to lose heart-may I fix my eyes on Jesus so much more quickly! I know that this is a great lesson for me to learn, for it is discipline-a disciplining of my mind, heart, and spirit. Verses and 9 and following: "Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." My feeble arms and weak knees are being strengthened, Lord willing, by this lesson. May I be trained by it!

And another very key and convicting couple of verses, 14 and 15: "Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord." ("Make effort," again, a conscious and physical action, a choice.) And verse 15, "See to it (as in, take the initiative, make the effort, take the pains) that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." 
As I go throughout my day, I must continually think of this verse to have a Christlike response to all I encounter. See to it that no one misses the grace of God... I might come from a class that was unexpectedly cancelled that I spent hours preparing for the night before, and be feeling grumpy, and immediately encounter someone with whom I can have a friendly conversation. Though I feel inclined not to, I must talk to that person. Every missed smile, every missed opportunity to share a kind word is a missed chance to share God's grace! If I've just had a really hard day and I feel like crying, and someone comes to my door and needs to talk when I feel I have nothing to give, I can choose to set aside whatever is tying my heart down. I can take a second, pray, and listen with an open heart to them. See to it that no one misses the grace of God.

What a radically different view our life takes when we realize that our life is not, in fact, about us. How easy it is to forget that, to slip into our own desires for comfort of predictability.

At the end of the day, I remind myself that this year is about relationships. It is about sharing the love of Jesus Christ. So maybe a quartet or two was cancelled? So maybe I wasn't given some key information? So maybe I'm wronged or left out of the loop? Who cares!? What is any of this in the scheme of things? This life, this year, is about relationships. And what incredible relationships I'm getting to experience in India!

This year is not about the things I do or don't do. It's not about my accomplishments. It's not about how I "change India," or how I make anything more organized or more efficient, or better, or different. It's not about how many classes I teach and how much we cover. It's not about solos or recognition. It's about the smile the girl and I exchange on the stairs. It's about eating rice with my hands and making silly faces with the other girls at the table as we sit in silence. It's about learning kindness from Gigi Sir and from so many others. It's about realizing my words have power and being careful with them. It's about love, and friendship, and especially: grace.

Lord, I submit to You all that is out of my control. Rid me of my expectations, my pride, the parts of me that say "I deserve..." For I deserve nothing! I am a volunteer. I am here to serve. Lord, how easy it is for me to fail to show grace to others when something unexpected occurs. Help me to imitate your attitude and help me to make sure my conversation is always overflowing with grace, seasoned with salt. Rid my heart of any roots of bitterness or resentment. Help me to be adapting and flexible, to live full of Your grace and mercy. Help me to make the right choices in my actions and words, seeing to it that no one misses Your grace when I have the chance to share it. Amen.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Thankfulness: Thanksgiving & Dalit Exposure Retreat

"Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and songs...Come, let us worship and bow down, let us kneel before the Lord God our Maker; for he is our God, and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of His hand." Psalm 95:1-2,6-7

Dear friends and family,

Hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving! As I reflect on all that I have to be thankful for, I realize that there is just sooo much...

Last week at Baker Vidyapith I taught a lesson on Thanksgiving. What a joy it was to watch the kids' faces light up as I showed them pictures of Thanksgiving food and families gathering around the table to eat! I even included images of Thanksgiving Day football as part of our traditions (listening to myself trying to explain football was pretty funny.) In describing the origins of the holiday, it was so hard not to say, "the Pilgrims and the Indians!" This led to some pretty interesting discussions as to the origin of the misnomer "Indians," especially when I asked the kids if they knew how it had happened and they gave me answers I had never heard before.

At the end of every class, I asked the students to write down and share the things for which they are thankful. I had such joy listening to them share their blessings as they stood up and gave thanks for God, country, family, freedom, for technology... and for badminton and for their pet chickens, among other things.

This past weekend was our third YAV retreat, held at the Marthoma Retreat Centre in Maramon, Kerala. I'm not sure how far away it was because it took over two hours to get there and less than 45 minutes to get back to Kottayam. On Thanksgiving, we looked at the traditional feasts of the Israelites and how they always gave the firstfruits of their harvest to the widows, the orphans, and the foreigners in their land. How would our lives be different if we gave the best of what we had, and not the leftovers, to others? I felt the implications of these passages deeply because of how I am a foreigner in this land and I have been treated with such Biblical hospitality, for which I am truly grateful. Though in some small ways I give back to this community, I am still very much on the receiving end; I arrived as a total stranger and had to be taught everything and given everything I have in this land by other people. As for all that I have back home, I appreciate it all a thousand times more than I ever did when I was at home. 
Chicken, vegetable curry, chapatti, and potato salad
Achen & Kochamma
Pumpkin pie!
For our Thankgiving meal together we had chicken, vegetable curry, chapatti, and potato salad, and then a delicious homemade PUMPKIN PIE from Kochamma! We spent time sharing about our Thanksgiving traditions and memories.
Thanksgiving with Kochamma, Ian, Rachel, and Binu
The rest of the weekend was spent learning about the history and current situation of the Dalit people. On Friday, we learned about the Dalit situation from Dr. Jesudas, a retired CMS lecturer and the first Dalit lecturer at the college in its almost 200-year history. The Dalits, or "untouchables," are "out-castes" in the sense that they are actually outside the caste system: traditionally they were considered to be lower than the lowest caste. Before the caste system was outlawed, Dalits were literally untouchable-they were not permitted to be within certain distances of members of a higher caste, nor to cook their food, or even let their shadow pass over them. They had to warn others when they were approaching by a bell hung around their neck and the women were not allowed to cover themselves. Dalits did not have any rights-even the right to their own body, and had to fight for the right to clothe themselves. They were not allowed to receive education of any kind. There are so many extreme examples of the oppression the Dalit people faced for centuries, yet they still experience segregation and oppression since the caste system was outlawed. The Dalit people still struggle to make their voices heard and to receive lack of restrictions in education, jobs, and all areas of life. (For example, even today, in the neighboring state, Tamil Nadu, there are separate chairs or cups for Dalits in restaurants.) All areas of their life are still affected by the oppression of the caste system. Although caste is not openly talked about, it is still very much a part of daily life in India. I found it interesting that although no one explicitly mentions their caste, one's caste is always apparent through one's name, occupation, address, or church. So even though no one actually says their caste, all others know it.

In the 1800s, British Abolitionist missionaries arrived in Kerala and tried to abolish the caste system. They began to educate the Dalit people, built schools for them, and introduced them to the Gospel. Since then, Christianity has spread like wildfire among the Dalit people and continues to flourish. It was powerful to learn about the history of this oppressed people and to discuss their current situation and the politics surrounding it. Furthermore  we looked at the similarities between the struggles of the Dalit people and our own civil rights struggle in the U.S. 

On Saturday, we visited a Dalit congregation at Pulard Church, which also happens to be Thomas John Achen's home church. There was a convention going on which we attended, comparable to a revival prayer meeting in the U.S. At this meeting we sang, "Nanniode njan studipaddidum," a Malayalam song of thanks to God for His blessings. That evening we also had the privilege of visiting homes of the Dalit people that Achen knew. This was a truly humbling experience. I will never forget walking through the pouring rain to visit these very poor, all-cement homes. We were surrounded by much darkness with all the rain and no power, but the warm, smiling faces of these people beaming at us in the candlelight are faces that will not quickly fade from my memory.
Church choir at Pulard, a Dalit congregation
The next morning we attended service at Pulard, where we had the opportunity to sing another song for the congregation. After the service, Rachel & I taught some songs to the Sunday school. 

Now having returned from this retreat, I am feeling overwhelmed by all that I have. Learning about the Dalits' history and struggle and then visiting their homes impressed upon me just how ridiculously fortunate I am. I have never dealt with segregation. I have not been treated differently because of the color of my skin. I took for granted a life of education and rich opportunities growing up, thinking everyone had the same opportunities as I did. I grew up in a warm and loving home and attended terrific schools. I went off to an excellent college where I continued to receive an abundance of knowledge, love, and opportunities. My family travels a lot and I have been blessed to see many amazing places in the world. Finding myself in the homes of those struggling for a voice, struggling for the right to education, I am struck by what all I have taken for granted.

And so I will give thanks. I am thankful for the opportunity to be exposed to poverty, and thankful that my concepts of "wealth" and "poverty" are being challenged. I am thankful to be exposed to the poverty within my own life and my own heart. I am thankful to have the opportunity to literally volunteer for a whole year, "to be rich enough to be poor for a year," and to find myself not in any way, poor. I am thankful for the privilege to struggle in a new land and to come to terms with the grace and power of the risen Jesus Christ. I am thankful for the challenges I have encountered in this land and how my faith is being refined. I am thankful for a terrific site, CMS College, where I feel loved, accepted, and purposeful. I am thankful to have the honor to teach so many students each week and to be welcomed into their homes and lives. I am thankful for vulnerability. I am thankful for having an abundance of choirs and classes in which I can use my musical training, having never really known what exactly I would be doing here and discovering that I wouldn't be rather be doing anything else. I am extremely thankful for how directly I'm getting to use my skills. I am thankful for a wonderful place to stay where I am surrounded by inspiring young women. 

I am thankful for frequent power outages, lest I forget the source of the one true Light. Thankful for having dyed my clothes purple, lest I get too attached to my "stuff." I am thankful for discomfort lest I forget the one true source of all Comfort. I am thankful for all that is happening to me and within me this year. I am thankful to have some of the scales fall from my eyes. I am thankful that I am here. May I never forget how incredibly blessed I am; may we each never forget.

Random tidbits:
1) Every night at evening prayer, I read one Psalm, the Psalm of the number of the days I've been in India. I so look forward to reading my Psalm each night, and try to color my thoughts of each day by its corresponding Psalm. I've started to remember things on certain days by what Psalm I read the night before.
2) Related to this, I recently was excited for it to be Psalm 91 night! Before I left for India, my wonderful mother hid little encouraging notes inside my things, and the other night, right after I'd read Psalm 91, I decided to reach into my bag of notes from her. The note I pulled out was a note my mom had written about the same psalm! What an awesome God we serve!
3) I have three geckos in my room. I like them because they're pretty cute and they help eat the bugs! I've grown fond of them over time and have named them according to location. Ward lives behind my wardrobe. Looey is in my bathroom. The kitchen gecko is still nameless. I'm open to suggestions.
4) There are things about living here that make a lot of sense to me. For example, using the same plate and glass for every meal. It makes so much sense to just have everyone wash their own plate and glass after each meal and put it right back on the table for the next meal. Why do we have use so many plates back home? They always stack up and then we have to wash them. 
5) My father mailed me a package of books for the Choir Directors' Program about a month ago and I just received them because apparently "Kerala" was mistaken for "Canada" and the box went to Canada. haha
6) It is now DECEMBER!!! That means that I am entering an explosion of Christmas choir rehearsals! Wahoo!!! And that I have successfully completed a third of my year! Aaaaand....my mother and sister will be here at the end of this month!!!!!!
6) I would be remiss if I forgot to mention how grateful I am for all of you-my loyal friends, family, and supporters. Where would I be without your constant outpouring of love and encouragement? 

The view from Marthoma Retreat Center
Rainbow plants!
Rooster power
Rachel, Binu, and Ian go for a walk.

hanging Tarzan vines...